Vietnamese Restaurant - Earlier this morning, a foreign teacher was faced with the most difficult choice of his life. Should he spend money on food or beer. Despite him having been faced with the decision of whether or not to remove his sickly puppy from life support in 2014, he maintained that this was by far the most troubling decision of his life.
According to sources, the troubled teacher was seen scanning the menu while mumbling to himself. "I do know that food is important, no question about it. But one could argue that beer is too, you know? Sure nobody does argue that often, but one could argue this, right? In fact beer actually has calories, so does that not technically make it a food then? With the added buzz? I really am in a pickle. Actually, speaking of pickles I wonder if they serve pickles here."
Sudden cuts in workload due to very much foreseen circumstances, resulted in the teacher having to impose severe spending limits on himself, most of which he rarely (read: never) complies with anyway. However, being fully aware that he is only a few dollars away from being a backpacker (read: homeless), the teacher has implemented a whole host of austerity measures such as:
eating only on days that begin with the letter T
only brushing his teeth when he is 100% convinced he will come within 2m of another human during that day
wearing makeshift underwear made from used face masks
At press time the teacher was asked to leave the establishment after having irked the majority of patrons by stealing food from a young child's plate. The teacher settled his bill for the six beers.