Nha Trang - In what has been labelled one of the worst kept secrets since the writer's dad confessed being Santa Claus all along, Nha Trang has officially been named Russia's new Capital city.
Despite not being located within Russian borders, the number of Russian inhabitants in the beautiful Vietnamese beach city has officially surpassed the total population of Russia last night. This came after another Russian baby (Igor) was born to the delight of parents (Hornigai Putsin and Slutvenka Putsout), making Igor the 145,934,463rd Russian resident of Nha Trang.
Russian officials stated that now that the move has been made official, Nha trang (soon to be named "дешевый пляжный город") can duly expect some changes in an attempt to make their new capital city reflect the Russian culture more adequately. Some of the changes will include:
Amending the traditional Banh Mi (sandwich) recipe by soaking the bread in vodka for 3 days prior to serving
Connecting all (and they do mean ALL) household plumbing to Russian vodka supplies as per Russian standard practice
The long awaited introduction of vodka pho (a delicious noodle and vodka soup which has claimed more than 67 lives already).
In related news:
At a panel discussion earlier today, officials denied an application made by a group of South Africans claiming Thao Dien as their new South African capital. "We honestly would have approved it had we been able to understand what the hell they were saying with that (harsh on the ears) Afrikaans language. Wait, they were speaking English? That's news to us."