Saigon - The findings of a groundbreaking study by top Vietnamese scientists and linguists, which conclusively proved that a local man isn't nearly as good at speaking Vietnamese as he think he is, were announced at a highly anticipated press conference yesterday.
The report titled 'Not even close' attempts to put into terms which his dumb brain will be able to comprehend, how completely misguided the man is about his own ability to speak Vietnamese. The study lead Minh Anh Nguyen Tran who addressed the press at 8pm last night (Standard Binh Thanh time) pulled no punches in conveying the findings to the press.
"The idiot really thinks after completing one successful ATM transaction using the Vietnamese language option, he is now full blown Vietnamese. My God. Nothing could be further from the truth. He can't even count to ten in Vietnamese without making rather severe pronunciation errors. Once he mistakenly called the local security guard at his apartment (a 61 year old man) a beautiful banana when greeting him in the morning. How he hasn't been beaten up by the security guard by now is anyone's guess. The fool is absolutely clueless".
A cashier at a local convenience store agreed that this man thinks he's the shit, when in fact, he's actually just shit (at speaking Vietnamese). "One evening he casually paraded up to the counter and literally said (Translated from Vietnamese) 'Monkey how much eight bedrooms hungry'. What the F*** is that supposed to mean?".
At press time the man, oblivious of the report's damning findings, was seen confidently roaming the streets of Saigon doing the finger gun and wink to random Vietnamese passersby while saying "Nǐ hǎo", completely unaware that this was in fact Mandarin.