Addis Ababa - Earlier this afternoon, Ethiopian President Sahle-Work Zewde emailed a public apology to a South African expat in Vietnam after he solely blamed Ethiopia for “milking it” resulting in him having to listen to “Last Christmas” in every convenience store he frequents.
The criticism came after it came to the foreigner’s attention that Wham! donated all royalties for their irritating Christmas song to Ethiopia in their fight against famine.
“To be honest we just saw the money coming in and didn’t ask questions. However, upon hearing the terrible song, I totally get where Mr. TB is coming from and words cannot describe my regret. To be honest, food-wise, we’re actually good. All set. So knowing what I know now, It must have been a struggle for the poor man.”
Mr. TB accepted the apology but also vowed to sue the Ethiopian government for psychological damages, most of which are irreversible. “Famine? Please. What are they doing with all those gold medals they win with long distance running. Christ, they must have millions of them by now. You’re telling me they can’t sell some of it and buy some rice. I am suing.”
At press time the foreigner agreed not to pursue Maria Carey for “All I want for Christmas is you”, upon realizing that all the proceeds from that shitty song goes to a craft beer famine facing English teachers in Saigon.